Believe
by rosliniangirl
Summary: A crime brings unspoken secrets to light. Sharon needs to find a way to face all of them.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first story; I tried to do my best.  
Thanks to my wonderful Beta, __**Stands With A Fic**__ who helped and supported me. Thank you, hon. You're amazing!_

Chapter 1

**Sharon's house**

There were things that could not be said. There were things that even Sharon Raydor didn't have the courage to say. On that Friday morning, she woke up with a headache; the alarm rang too loud and Sharon wasn't ready, she wasn't sure to be ready to face the day. Because, after that night, that day wouldn't be like any other day she had to face in the past.

She opened her eyes, slipped her right hand through her hair, and when they were totally open, her gaze fell on the other side of the bed, on the pillow which was next to hers. Sharon wasn't sure she had done the right thing or that she had taken the right decision. Actually, she wasn't sure she was able to think properly during those moments. She closed her eyes again, and leaning on her right side, she grabbed the other pillow and brought it to her. She embraced it like a baby hugs a teddy bear. She breathed deeply and then sank her nose in the pillow, in order to relax for a while. But something brought her back to reality...

"Sharon, are you awake?" Rusty's words were followed by a soft touch on the door. And Sharon was back to reality, too fast.

She didn't have the strength to answer, so she didn't and stayed like that, still for some second. Then, she let go of the pillow and when she was really ready, she got up from bed. She couldn't remember where her things were, or what things she was looking for. Her brain was like after a hangover. She remembered nothing. She was confused.

"Yes, I'm awake. Give me some minutes." Those were the only words she was able to say. She couldn't say more. She didn't want to.

About 15 minutes later, the sound of her heels revealed her presence to Rusty. The kid was sitting at the table, with his backpack on the chair next to his and mug of coffee in his hands. Sharon came into the kitchen without saying any words. Rusty followed her with his eyes as she approached the coffee pot and gently poured coffee in her mug. She had never been so quiet. Or at least, not with him.

"Anything wrong?" She didn't answer. She just smiled, approached the table and stroked Rusty on his right shoulder. The kid kept looking at her, surprised.

"So?"

"So what?" she asked, placing her mug, now half-empty, on the table.

Rusty did the same. "I asked you if there is anything wrong?"

Sharon shrugged, smiling feebly: "It's ok. Everything's ok."

Rusty nodded, even though he was not sure of her words. "Last night you came back late..."

Sharon smiled again, but Rusty continued, almost teasing: "Very late."

She smiled more and more, trying to make Rusty feel comfortable. Or maybe, trying to make herself feel comfortable; she grabbed both the mugs that were on the table and brought them to the sink. She could have said so many things to explain that "very late", but she didn't. Of course she didn't, she couldn't, not with Rusty.

Once again she didn't comment what her youngest son said. She ran her right hand through her hair, gently, and closed her eyes for a few seconds as if she could feel the hand of someone else slip through her hair. Literally.  
She didn't like lying to her children, in general she didn't like lying, but basically omitting the truth didn't mean lying. Or, at least, not completely.

She lost herself in memories. She had spent most of her life thinking about how to make the others happy; she had begun to do that when she was still a child. But, what about her? When it was her turn? How long did she have to wait to be truly happy without risking destroying everything around her? No, she could not tell the truth to Rusty. She could not talk about something that neither she knew exactly what it was. She could not. Not yet.

So she breathed deeply, inhaling every particle of oxygen in the air and then released the slightest trace of impure substance that could spoil her mood. She looked at the mugs in the sink for some seconds, then turned around, sketching the most successful smile of the morning. Rusty looked confused by her behavior.

"I'm fine, really. I guess I'm just tired…" She began to walk toward the kid, still smiling, more and more. "And yes, last night I came back home very late. Maybe I should've slept more. Now I feel like a walking dead!"

Rusty let out a slight "uhm."

She smiled at her son, again: "Rusty, trust me. It's nothing you need to know. Nothing worthy to be said."

Of course, he couldn't pressure her, not if she didn't want to talk. And it was clear she didn't.

"Well, next time you need to come back earlier then. You know, you're not that young." He uttered those words and grabbed his backpack, that still was on the chair in kitchen.

"HEY!" Sharon followed him with her gaze, resting her hands on her hips in her most menacing Darth Raydor pose.

Rusty laughed, never looking at her, slid the backpack over his left shoulder and when he found his car keys, finally turned to look at Sharon.

"Come on, don't look at me like that. I did not say that you're old, I just said that you're not as young as you think. You can't do those things anymore." The kid frowned, perhaps reflecting on the last sentence… "At least I think you can't…" then he turned and left.

Sharon relaxed her shoulders and breathed again as if it was the most important and most necessary thing for survival.

"So do I..." she muttered to herself.

**Los Angeles Police Department Office**

It had been four years since she replaced Brenda as commanding officer of Major Crimes; four tiring years, but also four years that gave her the privilege to know wonderful people, her people. Her team. Because, after such a long time, Sharon could think to live in a world without Major Crimes, but not in a world without the people of Major Crimes. Those wonderful people who somehow became part of her life and an important little piece of her heart. They were part of her, part of her family.

And just like every morning, in the last four years, Sharon parked her car in her usual place, she grabbed her bag, resting on the passenger seat and got out, closed the car with a click. She put the car keys in the bag and walked toward the elevator. When she was there she began to rummage in search of her phone.

She wasn't even sure it was in her bag; that morning she was not sure of anything. When she was at the elevator, still struggling with the bag and its contents, she barely pushed the button, so that the light turned on. She snorted nervously, after so many years she couldn't understand why in her bags there always seemed to be (the world) a paralel universe where things got lost. When the sliding doors opened, Sharon went in and leaned her back against the wall, throughout the ride. When the doors opened again, Sharon finally managed to grab her phone and stepped out, victorious, but when she tried to use it, she noticed it was dead.

"Damn!" she murmured, by raising the tone of her voice. Her phone had abandoned her. Seconds later, with the mood already folded, Sharon made her entrance among the members of her team. Just before being seen, she realized that something was different. A louder murmur rose up among the walls of Major Crimes division.

"Captain..." Amy Sykes announced, whose eyes betrayed a mix of apprehension, lifting and even concern.

Sharon watched one by one the people there, noting some faces that were not used to spend over there and her eyes suddenly became clear. A smile furrowed her face.

"Captain Cole!" The man turned, finally noticing the presence of Sharon, already announced by Amy. Adam Cole became a captain very soon, he was the youngest among the people who started with him that career, Sharon included; she had known him since Homicide division, when they had been partners for a while, before he moved to New York City.

"Captain Raydor." Cole replied, maintaining a degree of seriousness that worried Sharon, who instantly moved her gaze to Provenza and Taylor. The oldest man approached his Captain as Cole started: "I'm very sorry... I came back here one month ago, I really wanted to call you but you know… so much stuff to do and fix and… then this one."

Sharon looked back at him and surprised, replied: "I'm so glad to see you again here, but… I can't understand…"

Provenza urged: "We tried to call you like 100 times, Captain." Sharon waved her right hand that still held her dead phone: "My phone is dead, sorry. But... what's going on?"

It was clear that something was going on, but people were so serious and silent there. No one looked at her in the eyes, as if they were afraid of something. But about what? She looked around and then at Provenza again: "Where's lieutenant Flynn?"

"Ya, that…" the man tried to answer but then stopped, waiting for Taylor or Cole to answer first. "Is it about him?" Sharon asked again. "Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?" Taylor nodded and approached her: "Captain, this morning we got a call. We found a dead body in a parking, nearby your neighborhood."

Sharon was feeling always more confused: "Ok, then what?" "The dead body belonged to David Fisher." Sanchez stood up from his chair and murmured softly.

Sharon looked at his detective and then at Provenza: "That David Fisher?" He nodded and Sharon put her hand on her mouth, whispering: "Oh God!"

"And Andy is with his family now?" "No, Captain, he's here, we're interviewing him."

Sharon remained silent.

"His gun's been found next to Fisher's body." Provenza answered.  
That was the moment when Sharon understood what was going on there. "Are you kidding me? Andy's gun there?" She laughed. Almost. "It's impossible!"

Taylor looked at Cole: "Captain Cole is here to do his work. I hope you two can cooperate."

"I don't need to cooperate with FID. Andy did nothing, and we all know it!" Sharon replied, as if Taylor were saying bullshits.

The man got nervous and looked at Sharon strictly: "We don't know what he did; for this reason, I expect you to be very professional. As usually."

Sharon nodded and when he left, Cole smiled at her: "I really need you to cooperate."

"Adam, he did nothing. I am sure."

"So do I." Provenza added: "He's stupid, not a murderer."

"I don't care what you say, lieutenant. I care what the proofs say. And his gun's been found next to a dead body. A dead body, which was his ex wife's husband. And now I need to know everything about this Andy Flynn. And above all I need to know what he did last night and this morning." He breathed deeply and turned toward Sharon: "Then I can say, as you do, that he's stupid but not a murderer."

Adam was always resolute.

Sharon loved his passion and his faith in justice. But now she was totally confused. She knew he was innocent, she trusted him and knew where he was last night. But she couldn't understand why his gun was there. She touched her hair and nervously said: "Adam, he's innocent."

Her friend and colleague replied: "You can't say it for sure."

"I CAN!" She said loudly.

"How?"

Sharon looked around, smiling at her team. They didn't need to know. So she breathed deeply, again: "Not here, can you join me in my office please?"

He nodded and followed her.

"You too, lieutenant." Provenza nodded and joined them.

The oldest man closed the door behind him and stayed there in silent. Like people outside. They remained silent: they couldn't believe Flynn had killed someone. They remained silent, waiting for Captain Raydor to decide the next move. They were hurt and confused, but they needed to do something to fix that.

Meanwhile, Sharon was still nervous, she didn't know how to start that topic. She'd prefer saying nothing about that. And for "that" it means something she couldn't explain at all. But Andy needed an alibi and she knew his alibi.

"I'm sure. He wasn't there."

"Sharon, I know you trust your team, I know you very well." He explained.

She smiled and nodded, still caressing her hair.

"You were amazing when you worked for Homicide division. A true leader. And I'm sure you're now."

Sharon looked into his eyes and felt embarrassed. She didn't remember how charming he could be.

"I'm here to help you, Shar." He approached her and put his left hand on her shoulder, caressing it.

Provenza looked at them and was surprised about how close those two were.

"I really wanna help you, but you can't say it that lieutenant is innocent. Let me work. Let's work together." Adam said softly.

She looked down: "I am sure he wasn't there last night."

"Oh God…" Provenza murmured. "I don't wanna listen."

Sharon raised her head and tilted it to look at Provenza: "I…" But those words were too hard to be said.

Captain Cole raised his hands and waved them: "Maybe I need a little clarification. Can you explain to me as well? Why are you so sure that he wasn't there?"

Sharon turned toward Cole and smiled a while, just to drive away embarrassment.  
"Because he was with me."


	2. Chapter 2

_I wanna thank you my wonderful beta, _**Stand with a Fic**_, because she's really amazing to me._

Chapter 2

**June 12, 2015**

It would have been easier to let Adam do his job. It would have been much easier to shut up and act as the Captain. But Andy was in an interview room, subjected to one million questions about the death of a man that he actually hated. And then there was his gun that's been found at the crime scene, a gun that Andy should have had with him; and this was a fact. It would have been much easier to be Captain Raydor, but at that moment the Captain was gone and the only thing that remained was Sharon. Just a woman, confused and hurt. And Sharon had different needs than those Captain Raydor had. And for these reasons, Sharon had to speak, even though it'd be a problem for her career.

"What does it mean, Sharon?" Adam asked. The man's eyes were straight on her, as the penetrating light of a lighthouse.  
She did not answer, breathed deeply, and lowered her eyes. Sharon was to speak. But how difficult it was to do so!

"I'm sorry but I think I don't need to listen..." Those words stopped in Provenza's throat; that woman was still his Captain. And if he had to know the truth about that relationship, well it'd be better to know it from Andy. His friend Andy.

Sharon raised her head, paying attention to those words.  
"Lieutenant..."  
"I'm sorry Captain. Flynn's been arrested for murder, and now you're telling us that he cannot be guilty because he spent the night with you?" He snorted ironically.  
"I'd prefer he was. It would be more dignified! For him..." he opened the office door and before he left, he finished the phrase: "and for you".

Sharon remained in silence, watching the door slam; she put her hand to her mouth, stifling tears and feeling overwhelmed by nausea. She closed her eyes, trying to shake off the image of Provenza's eyes full of disappointment.

After opening them again, it was time to face other eyes, Adam's, that continued to penetrate hers, as if they wanted to hurt and protect her at the same time.

"Don't look at me this way..."  
Adam relaxed his face: "What way?"  
"As if I had disappointed everyone." She breathed deeply again, bringing her hands to her hips.

"Because you had sex with a subordinate?" He didn't let her answer, "You know that I cannot judge you."  
Sharon nodded, letting die there the meaning of those words. "I didn't have sex with him."

"Oh you didn't?" Adam smiled, indicating her to sit down.  
"Not in the way you mean." She answered and sat down.

After a few seconds of silence, she leaned her elbows on her legs and put her hands through her hair, then lifted her head to look at Adam, who had just sat down in front of her. "This thing must remain between us."

"What? What are you asking me, Shar?"

"To wait. I will tell you everything, as long as you keep it secret." She bit her lower lip and then continued: "At least I hope you will keep the secret about the thing between Andy and me."

He brought his arms folded on his chest: "I'm all ears."  
Adam was one of the few people who could hear this story without judging, but that look on his face made her feel so weak. That look made her feel as if time had never passed. As if they were still detectives of Homicide division.  
But that's another story.

Sharon leaned back in her chair and smiled, keeping her eyes straight on her hands which were toying with each other.  
"I never expected it would happen. You know... I was done with men. And I really meant it."

**June 11, 2015 (Sharon POV)**

_I was not sure if I coud survive one more day in that life, I was too old to involve myself in such an emotional case. That day a only three years old kid had been found dead in the basement of her house. And as if the death of such a young kid was not enough, at the end of the day we found out that her mother had killed her for reasons that still seem difficult to understand._

_I could feel the weight of years on my shoulders; in my heart I still felt I was the 16 years old girl from the countryside, but physically I was the woman of town, nearly ready for retirement. My children were all adults and with Rusty in college I felt it was coming the right time to devote a little more time to myself. And maybe that was the problem. I was not ready to live again with myself. Alone with myself. I was not accustomed to hear only the sound of my footsteps in the house. I missed my children, all the three of them: I missed them even when they were at home. Now their lives were elsewhere, and I was part of them just in a marginal way. I was alone with myself. _

_Eventually, there was Andy, who had completely ruined everything; he destroyed our friendship for a mistake that I would never be able to forgive. (Or at least, I thought so!). There were days we barely exchanged a 'hello': we were back to being the captain and her lieutenant. Two strangers who worked together, and when from time to time I stopped to look at him, I could not see the friend he had been to me, for the last four years. And when I lowered my eyes, I knew he wouldn't look back at me. Not anymore._

_That evening, after that terrible case, I had barely the strength to get up from my desk and drive home. It was not even very late, but to me it seemed like an eternity since the beginning of the day. Still lost in my thoughts, I heard the door opening, perhaps I was sure all the team had already gone home._

_"I'm bothering you?"  
__I lifted my head. I'd have recognized his voice everywhere, among a thousand other voices. __I shook my head in the negative and he entered. He still had that serious look that had characterized him for days._

_"Listen... I would like to apologize. My behavior was unacceptable." He put his hand in his hair, passing his fingers slowly through it._

_I found that gesture irresistible; everything about that man seemed irresistible to me. And that was a problem. A very big problem.  
__"It's ok. It's water under the bridge."_

_"No, it is not. I know it and you know it. So I'd like to take you out for dinner. Tonight."_

_I closed my eyes for a few seconds and then emitted a strange sound that was between puzzled and resigned: "Andy, we have already..."  
__He moved his hands, lifting them into the air: "No no, it's just a dinner. Nothing more. We are friends. Just friends."_

_I nodded and waited a few moments? before accepting. "Ok... Just a dinner between two friends." I smiled, naturally for the first time... after 20 days.  
__"Then we can go now."  
__I looked down to see what I was wearing: "But I need to change."  
__"Nahhh, it's just a dinner between two friends. It'll be okay."_

_I did not know whether to feel relieved or disappointed by his words. I decided to smile again.  
__Ok, I was disappointed._

_That morning I went to the office with my car, so to avoid going to restaurant with two cars, I came back home and parked my car there. And with trembling legs I got into his car.  
__The last time I was in a car with him was almost one month ago. I kept my bag on my legs and after a few seconds I began to rummage in search of my iPhone. Andy looked at me while I was diling my son's number and waited for Rusty to answer._

_"Rusty!"  
__-Sharon, are you okay?-  
__I held over. "Hmm, yes, I'm okay. I just wanted to tell you that I'm not coming back home for dinner. I'm sorry, honey, but I had a setback."  
__He temporized. -You're with Flynn?-  
__His question left me speechless, I turned to look at Andy and nodded as if Rusty could see me, "Yes."  
__-Ok. Have fun!-  
__I nodded again, but this time I did not answer.  
_"_Go to bed early."  
__-Of Course. Say hello to Flynn.- then he hung up and I put my phone back in my bag._

_The trip to the restaurant was quiet. I could barely stay focused on that evening, and maybe he still felt the weight of the quarrel that had brought us to move away all this time. From time to time I turned to look at him; time ago I would have said that his behaviour was presumptuous, reflected even in his way to drive: his left elbow resting on the open window, the fingers of both hands resting lightly on the steering wheel. Some time ago, I would have accused him of driving with lack of safety; Today I could not stop watching him. I liked the way he was driving; I would never have been able to do something like that. I was not able. I was too careful, while he was too careless. I smiled and went back to look out my window. Probably I continued to smile until the arrival at the restaurant._

_I remembered that place, we already went there once, a long time ago. I remembered that I liked it a lot, actually everything I did with him was great to me. I liked him a lot..._

_I breathed deeply and waited for him to lock the car, I bit my lower lip; I do not know why, but I know it was something that I did in his presence. Every time he looked at me, every time he touched me even if unintentionally. Whenever we were, only the two of us, I bit my lower lip. After nearly 20 days of total indifference, his presence slammed against my weakness. I was weak. I felt weak.  
__I was supposed to be the angry one, the one supposed to pressure, instead it was him that roused fear in me. I was afraid of what he would say, even more afraid of what he might do._

"_Are you ready?" He said, putting the car keys in his pocket.  
__I nodded, and together we walked to enter the restaurant. I felt his right hand lightly grazing my back, while his left one kept the door open. I enjoyed his touch and I did it very much.  
__The first time we had dinner together was all much simpler: we laughed, joked, chatted like old friends. Now I was sitting in front of him with sweaty palms and a knot in my throat that I could not drive out._

_Andy sat down after helping me to sit down on my chair. I smiled and he tilted his face: "Well here we are. And it's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."  
__I smiled a fake smile. "You make it sound like a strenous task..."_

"_Oh, well... Three weeks of silence. That was really hard to face." He answered.  
__I shook my head: "It is not true."_

_"You could hardly manage to work with me." He continued, ignoring my attempt to deny.  
__I shook my head again, keeping my head down and my eyes straight on table: "No..."_

_"No?" He asked.  
__I didn't look at him. I could not lift my head, his eyes would hurt me._

_"Sharon, look at me..."  
__I did what he said, "You told me it's gonna be a quiet dinner."  
__Andy nodded and smiled: "I did but I need to know that it really is water under the bridge."_

_"Oh, please, I told you that it is." I lowered my head again.  
__"Then why can't you look at me?"  
__A voice-over blocked my every attempt to answer._

_"Good evening. My name is Chris and I will be your waiter tonight. You want any drink?"  
__I breathed deeply, shaking my head and thanking the young waiter to have slowed Andy's questions.  
__Why was he torturing me like this? It was not enough to know that for me it was water under the bridge?_

___Andy smiled and nodded to the young guy: "Water for me and Chardonnay for the lady."  
__"Of course."_

_I waited for the waiter to leave us to our privacy. "I have not avoided anyone or anything. And I have not stopped talking to you." I said abruptly.  
__"So what?" He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.  
__"I did not know what to tell you..." I moved my hands nervously, "What did you expect from me, Andy? You kissed me."_

_"Yes I did."_

_"Exactly." I confirmed, still sharply._

_"Didn't you like it?" he smiled._

_"Oh, Andy... I can't understand if you are serious or you're making fun of me." I was confused.  
__"Both."_

_Chris returned with our drinks. Andy made a gesture to the young man, who walked away from our table, then he grabbed the bottle and poured a little wine in my glass._

_"How does it feel to be near a bottle of wine?" I asked, putting aside our hot topic for a few minutes.  
__He smiled: "It's not about how it makes me feel to stay close to the wine that worries me, now."_

_I brought my hands to my eyes and covered them, as I did when I was younger and something embarrassed me too much. What were we doing?  
__"Can you stop making me feel like a 17 year-old girl on her first date?" I begged him, mumbling with my hands still before my eyes._

_I heard him smile: "So it's a date?"  
__I pushed my hands away: "Oh God please, stop. We are friends, Andy. What happened three weeks ago does not mean anything."_

_He smiled again, "Really?" Then raised his left hand and Chris came hastily to our table: "Ready to order?"_

_I was not sure if I could answer that question. I was not sure I knew what that kiss really meant to me. Apparently a subordinate had kissed his boss. In fact, Andy had kissed Sharon. This confusion oppressed me. For 20 days I had tried to avoid such thoughts. Not talking to Andy meant not having to deal with this topic._

___When our dinner was almost over, when I was about to eat my last piece of a delicious lemon cake, I put down my fork and looked at Andy as he was struggling with his slice of cake: "Why did you kiss me?"_

_"Wow, good question! Finally, it took you a while to ask that."  
__I said nothing, I wanted an answer. I needed an answer._

_"Because I wanted to."  
__"And why did you want to?" He was trying to tease me. "I'm serious, Andy. Why did you want to kiss me?"_

_This time he became serious, put down his fork on table, gently, and looked around to be sure that no one would listen to our conversation. He rubbed his forehead with his right hand, nervously. Then finally laid his eyes on me and relaxed his face. He was almost smiling.  
__"I wish you could see yourself right now…"_

_I shook my head: "Me? Why?"_

_"Because you're beautiful."_

_Here we are. I felt again the 18 year-old girl on her first date. I shifted my gaze for fear of meeting his. "No, Andy, please..."_

_"I cannot help but thinking of you. I cannot help but wanting you."  
_

_As before, I raised my hands, their palms before my face, to hide the embarrassment. My cheeks were becoming hopelessly red.  
__Probably he smiled. "It's too much?"  
__When I lowered my hands, I was smiling: "It's just a dinner between two friends, right?"_

_Andy nodded, looking down then looked back at me, his face was serious. "I'm sorry to have kissed you that night. I was an asshole because I've done it in your weakest moment. I deserved that slap and the three weeks of silence between us."_

_Yes, he deserved that. He should have never kissed me that night, when I felt the world crashing down around me, when I needed a true friend and not a horny man.  
__I bit my lower lip, for the umpteenth time: "I have forgiven you." Then I turned to look at the people around us, "But let's get out of here!"_

_He didn't need me to say that twice, he paid bill and we went out, heading for his car. We were almost there when I felt his hand grab my arm and tighten it. I turned and saw the look on his face. I knew those eyes, I knew exactly how he felt in that moment._

_"And if I wanted to kiss you now?" He asked. This time he was asking for my permission.  
__I gasped, although I expected something like that, given the trend of the evening. I could not utter a word. I felt small. __"I'm your boss."_

_He nodded and walked over to me. "First you were a married woman. Now you're my boss. What should I do to make you surrender?"  
__I lowered my head when he was too close to me.  
__He stroked my face gently and put his fingers on my lips, caressing them without interruption. "Say yes."  
__I swallowed hard and nodded yes without saying a word._

_I heard his breathing become increasingly heavy and when his lips touched mine, I closed my eyes, resting my hands on his face. I do not remember exactly how long that kiss lasted, maybe a few seconds, but to me it seemed endless. It was sweet, with gentle movements. I stroked his hair and pushed my face closer to his to deepen the kiss. I don't know who had taught him to do it that way but Andy was the best kisser I had ever kissed in my life._

_I felt his tongue pushing more, so I let him do it. And when it was enough and I needed air I put my hands on his chest and turned away slightly. "Wait."  
__He looked at me worried: "Well, no slap. It's a step forward."_

_I smiled at the sense of humor he had on every occasion. __Turning around to see if someone had watched our little moment of romance, I asked: "Can we…" and indicated his car.  
__"Uh." The expression on his face changed. "Afraid to be seen with me? This thing is getting dirty and mysterious..."  
__I rolled my eyes and slapped his chest: "Hurry up!"_

_We got in the car, he turned towards me and his lips touched mine again. "You should have never let me kiss you..." he whispered between one kiss and another.  
__I smiled and deepened the kiss, stroking his hair. I liked the taste of his lips. __We stopped only when we missed air. He kept looking at me, stroking my hair. I loved his hands in my hair._

_"It's a mistake."  
__He nodded: "I like mistakes."_

_I kissed him again and pushed my whole body against him, even if the console of his car prevented me from doing it completely. I felt his hand on my back and a shiver ran through my body. He probably noticed it, because he began to stroke my back more, making me gasp in ways I thought I could not make anymore.  
__I ended up with the upper part of my body turned to him; and a strong desire not to interrupt that moment. What was happening to me?  
__His tongue now ruled my mouth and his hands ruled my body._

_"Come here..." he murmured, giving a pat on his leg to indicate where he wanted my to sit. That murmur was delicate. A delicacy that hid a command. This time he was not asking for my permission; this time he had ordered me to do so.  
__Embarrassed, I smiled and stroked his face, tracing with my fingers every little detail of his face. I stopped at his lips and smiled again. "I wanna remind you that I'm not twenty years old. Actually not even thirty. I am not like those girls you usually date."_

_"Mmh." Andy let out a moan and repositioned his back on the driver's seat. "You really want to start this conversation now?"  
__"Andy" I could not hold back a laugh, "It is not a conversation, I'm just saying that I cannot do that here. In a car, in a parking lot of a restaurant."_

_"Oh."_

_Perhaps he understood. Or maybe not. __So I decided to let him guess.  
__I laid my hand on his leg and started caressing him with my nails, gently. Then I approached him and whispered into his right ear: "I just said not here."  
He turned and saw the grin on my face and grabbed my lips with his and kissed me again.  
Then he said: "Please, take your hand off my leg or I won't be able to stop myself from acting as if you're still in your thirties."_

_I nodded and whispered again: "Rusty is a heavy sleeper."  
__He said nothing, turned the key in the car injection and drove toward my house, probably breaking one hundred traffic laws._

_And honestly it did not matter to either of us._

**June 12, 2015**

Adam had his arms folded on his chest and stood scrutinizing her, when she stopped talking, for a few minutes.  
"So then you two went to your house and..."

Sharon nodded: "Yes."  
"And it was the first time."

Sharon looked at him stunned, confused: "The first time with him or the first time I slept with a subordinate? What are you asking me? Hmm?"

Adam didn't answer, stood up and said: "I need time."  
She followed him: "No, Adam. Andy has no time. He's not guilty."  
He looked at her and seriously asked: "Are you sure?"  
She didn't answer.

"You're saying that he spent all night at your house. And you spent all night having sex? All night long, Sharon?"  
Sharon looked at him, shocked and disappointed: "Are you really asking me if I had sex with someone?"

Adam ironically laughed: "Oh, not with someone. With one of your lieutenants."  
She stood up and approached him: "That's not relevant!"

"Oh, trust me, it is!"

She gulped, breathed deeply and bit her lower lip, trying finding the right words to explain something she couldn't explain to herself: "I spent last night with one of my lieutenants, yes. And… no, not all night, but for most of…"

He stopped her: "What time did he leave your house?"  
She waved her hands in air: "I don't know. I am not sure."

"So you're not sure when your lover left your house. Perfect! That's what I needed to know. Thanks, Captain."

"Lover? Adam, I…" He didn't let her continue. "I'll let you know when you can interview him."

Andy wasn't her lover. Andy was… She didn't know what Andy was to her, but not a lover. 'Lover' implied an affair and they didn't have an affair. They spent one night together. They splept together, once. Just once.  
'Lover' also implied something dirty and that wasn't dirty. That was… She didn't know what it was. She didn't know anything.  
He couldn't be her lover. Maybe he didn't want to. She knew Andy and the women he used to date. Sleeping with the boss has always been exciting. Maybe she just was a whim to satisfy.

"I need to talk to him now." She said, no thinking too much about those words and stopping her flux of thoughts.  
Adam turned to look at her: "I'm sorry, Captain. Not now."  
He used her rank again and left her office.

She turned around, sat down on a chair and put her hands on her chest, trying to breath regularly.  
Then closed her eyes and whispered something.

"He's not guilty."


	3. Chapter 3

_First of all, I wanna thank my wonderful beta, _**Stands With A Fic**_. I never would have started (or kept) writing this story without her._  
_Then, thanks to _**alexifera**_, because she's my first inspiration when I've to write about Shandy. And she's not a Shandy fan. ahah_  
_Then, I wanna thank _**lontanissima**_ for the advices she gave me. They helped me to improve this chapter when I was very confused about it._  
_At the end, but not least, I wanna thank _**leveragus**_. She helped me even though she doesn't know she did. Dear, you will see why._

* * *

Chapter 3

**June 12, 2015**

There were very few times when Provenza agreed with his partner; during their long friendship there were more times when they argued than those when they were in agreement on something. Basically Provenza and Flynn were different, they were so much different. But over the years they had been able to make such difference the basis of the most solid partnership that the LAPD had ever encountered. This had brought them to the point where if one of them was wrong, the other necessarily had to emphasize it. And this time, Provenza wanted to do more than that.

So before Sharon started speaking about her night with Andy, the oldest lieutenant left her office, slamming the door behind him, pointed at Buzz who was standing next to the desk of Lt. Tao with his left index finger: "Is he alone?"

Buzz, confused by the question, nodded without saying a word.

"Turn off each camera and microphone in the room until my order."  
"But... Lieutenant..."  
Provenza quickened his pace without giving attention to the vain attempt of the young man to stop his action. This time Flynn had exaggerated.

He opened the door hastily, while Andy Flynn, the only suspect of the murder of his ex-wife's husband, raised his head, relaxing his face: "Wow, thanks. You remembered I'm here…"

"What the hell are you doing, Flynn?" Provenza closed the door behind him, then approached the table and slammed his hands on it.  
"Oh, hello, I am also very happy to see you!" Flynn replied ironically, then added: "What could I ever do? They accused me of something I did not commit. And you know... "

Provenza interrupted him again, this time going straight to the pivotal point of his speech: "You slept with her."  
Flynn opened his mouth slightly, with an expression of his face by between confused and surprised.

"You slept with her. You... " Provenza raised his right index finger pointing at his friend; "You slept with Raydor."  
Andy raised his face towards the camera on top of the room: "Are you crazy?"

"They are off, but..." this time Provenza was really angry: "You slept with her."  
Andy watched his partner for a few seconds; could scrutinize his anger, impatience, annoyance. "Ya, I slept with her. Well... we did a lot of things but sleeping. " he said, at last, with a hint of irony that sparked even more the reaction of the older lieutenant.

Provenza raised his hand and shaked it: "And you say it this way? Like a relic of war? You slept with Raydor. "  
Andy put his right hand on his forehead, gently massaging it and trying to drive away the fatigue of the moment, then looked at his partner: "I slept with Sharon, not with Raydor."

They had never had any problems of that type. They both used to date younger women, and it didn't matter whether they could be their daughters' ages. Provenza had seen Andy in different situations; had seen him date a masseuse, a teacher, a stripper... He had seen him and knew his behavior. And he was (until then) convinced that his friend would never cast work and private life, not after his job (because of alcohol) had destroyed his family and his relationship with his children.  
He took a deep breath never looking away from his friend, then sat down and shook his head: "She's your boss."

"No, Louie, she's your boss, but to me…" he smiled and looked at the table, as if he was remembering their last night together… "To me, Louie, she's much more than that." Andy said, almost smiling.

"Do you have feelings for her?" Provenza asked, keeping his eyes fixed on his friend.  
"I do not know what I have, but for sure I've something for that woman."  
Provenza laughed, ready to leave the room: "What a gentleman!"

Andy stopped his friend, by saying: "How did you know about us?"  
Provenza turned around and shaked his head: "You will know it very soon." Then pointed his index finger at his friend: "Stay here, and behave. And please… don't do anything I would never do."  
He left and Andy stayed there, thinking about his friend's words.

Twenty minutes later, it was Cole's turn to speak to Andy.  
During all these years, Sharon had always been in charge. But in that particular situation, everything was in Adam's hands. She trusted him, she knew he was a good cop, she knew he was a great friend, but this story had already started badly and for absurd reasons her legs were shaking at the thought of how it could end.

Sharon was in the electronics room, with Provenza and Buzz; eyes fixed on the screen while Adam entered the room where Andy was now.

"Lieutenant Flynn, I'm Captain Cole... You need to answer some questions". Adam sat down, carefully watching the lieutenant sitting in front of him.

This was the man Sharon slept with; the man who had brought down the Iron Lady of the police department of Los Angeles. Flynn was more powerful than he could ever imagine.  
Andy nodded: "At least we'll end this story once and for all."

Adam pretended not to hear and started with the first question: "Did you kill David Fisher?"  
Andy smiled: "Wow, what a question!"

"Answer, Lieutenant."  
"No!" Andy's face suddenly turned serious. This questioning would be harder and longer than expected.  
"What did you do last night, Lieutenant Flynn?"

That question provoked a shiver over Sharon's back. She was terrified by that question, or at least she was terrified by a true answer to that question. Of course she knew that it was the only very important question to ask.

Andy took a deep breath, focusing his eyes on a dead point of the table. "I was busy."

Adam nodded: "Busy alone, or with someone?"

"I really need an alibi?"

Adam gave him a menacing look: "Your gun was found next to the body of the victim. An alibi is the most important thing you might need at this time."  
Andy nodded in turn: "With someone."

"A woman?"  
"Do I look like a gay?"  
The irony did not seem to be accepted by Captain Cole.

Andy breathed again: "A woman."  
"May I know her name?"

It was the moment of reckoning? It really was the time when Sharon's name would have jumped out? Andy swallowed nervously, then replied: "I do not know her name."

Adam laughed sarcastically: "So you spent the night with a woman you don't even know?"  
Andy nodded.

"A prostitute?"  
This time Andy smiled, trying to deflect the conversation: "No, she's not, but for sure she acted like that."

Meanwhile, in the electronics room, Sharon opened her mouth, astonished. He really said that she acted like a prostitute? Surely he was trying to ward off any suspicion from her, but why using such rough words?  
She was probably right in believing that she was just a whim to satisfy.

Adam looked down, aware that the lieutenant was lying. "And until when you have been with her?"

Andy brought his left hand through his hair and tried to remember the time: "Until around 5, I think."  
"And then?"

A few minutes of silence filled the room.  
"Lieutenant, listen to me, maybe you did not understand what's happening. If you do not help us, you will be accused of the murder of a man. Do you really want this? Do you really want your kids from now on see you like the man who murdered their stepfather?"

Those words did startle Andy; family for him was the only very important thing of his life.  
Thus, he folded his arms across his chest and breathed deeply: "I spent the night at her house, then I got a call. It was David. He wanted to meet me, so, around 5 am, I left her home and headed to the place where David wanted to meet me."

"The parking lot?"  
Andy nodded, then shook his head, as if he was remembering what had happened.  
"Did you have a fight?"

This time Andy did not answer; shook his head again, and after a few minutes he said: "As long as you will not have the results on David's body and on my gun, you cannot accuse me of anything. I know very well how this works. And I'm not going to talk about anything without a lawyer."

Adam stood up and pointed to the man: "You're risking, Flynn."  
"Maybe it's worth it."  
Adam left, confused about what Andy had told him. He needed to find out the truth, but it'd not have been easy. He knew it.

And it'd not have been easy above all for Sharon.  
After 35 years of career, she barely remembered a terrible day like that one. Before her eyes many cases had passed, but this one was breaking her heart. In many ways. Her thoughts were now for Nicole, James, to the people who were suffering more.  
She brought her right hand through her hair and raising her head, took a deep breath; she could barely stop the tears. The world had turned upside down in a single day. In front of her, on the desk, there were photos of Fisher's body and a stack of documents to be evaluated, all of which had the same name on: Andy Flynn.  
What was he doing? Why didn't he tell her that Fisher had called him? Why did he leave her house that way?

A knock on the door brought her back to reality.  
Sharon raised her head, the door opened in a few seconds, but to Sharon they seemed like interminable hours. The figure of Provenza appeared and she could not help but get up and remain silent.

"It's up to us."  
She nodded, trying to keep calm, headed for the room where his lieutenant had been since the early hours of that morning.  
Provenza went in the electronics room with Buzz and Sanchez, while Sharon after a long, deep breath, opened the door and for the first time after hours he was there.  
When she saw him, she felt the strong desire to close the door and escape; before her eyes she saw the pictures of the previous night which had flowed fast, like a river in flood.  
Andy raised his head and looked at her, while she slowly closed the door behind her shoulders and sat in front of him. She put her hands on the table and began nervously rubbing her fingers.  
Andy watched carefully, aware of how much she was embarrassed and under pressure. So, he smiled and approached his fingers to hers, entwining the right index finger with hers. Sharon raised her head and shook her head in the negative, then drew back her hands, taking them on her lap.

At the sight of that gesture, Sanchez looked surprised at Buzz, who turned toward Provenza.  
The older man, visibly irritated by the curiosity of the two, and by the stupidity of the other two, waved his hands in the air: "Please, do not ask and shut up!"

Meanwhile, Sharon had finally found the courage to speak: "So… you spent the night with a prostitute..."  
Andy looked away and snorted: "Oh... Come on, Shar..."  
"It's Captain, lieutenant." She interrupted him and continued: "Then you got a call from the victim and left her house to meet him."

Andy nodded.  
It seemed that insecurity had given way to anger. It looked like Darth Raydor had replaced Sharon.  
"Why? Why did he want to meet you? "  
He looked at the woman carefully, hoping to change the subject, unnoticed: "I did not kill David and the reason why he wanted to see me is unimportant. When I left him, he was still alive."

She nodded, "Lieutenant, you're right, we cannot hold you back, but I suggest you to call a good lawyer."  
Then she stood up and without a word, left the room.

A few minutes later, Andy was able to leave as well, although he had been suspended, pending clarification about the murder. But he still remained the most likely suspect.  
Tired and worn, Andy walked over to his desk.

"Lieutenant, we will find out what happened." Amy said from her seat, smiling.  
Andy nodded and after grabbing his jacket, turned his gaze to Provenza: "Let's see if my family still wants to see me."  
He nodded and watched his friend go away, while silently in turn glanced toward Raydor's office. Sharon was inside, with Captain Cole.  
There was much to work on. And Sharon had to do it, without allowing her personal life to influence her judgment.

Adam was sitting in front of her, his hands over his chest and blabbering things that her ears could not perceive. Then, suddenly stopped and silence filled the room.  
"Shar..."  
After the umpteenth call, the woman stood up and said: "Sorry..."  
Adam smiled: "Look, you're not alone. We'll find out the truth, and if he is innocent, everything will be fine."  
Sharon nodded: "If he is..."  
The man stood up and approached her: "I'm here as Captain of FID, but also as a friend. You know you can always count on me."

Sharon nodded again and put her hand on his arm, caressing it slowly.  
"I'm so glad you're here."  
He smiled and caressed her hand on his arm: "I'm glad to be here."

The ringing of her iPhone broke the moment, Sharon smiled at Adam: "Excuse me…"  
He nodded.  
She approached her purse and took her iPhone from it. The name on the screen made her breath irregularly. She took the call.  
-Yes?!-

-I need to see you. Alone.-  
She shook her head in a negative way as if he could see her gesture. –No. I've a ton of things to do.-  
He insisted, his voice was serious: -I really need to see you. Alone.-

Sharon turned to look at Adam and opened her mouth to say something that she wasn't able to say.  
Then he continued: -Before saying the truth to that very funny guy there, I need you to know the truth.-

She touched her neck, nervously, turned around again, so her back was toward Adam. –Ok.-  
-At my place. I'm going to my family now, or at least I hope I still have a family. Text me when you can stop by.-

Sharon hung out, saying nothing. Turned toward Adam and pretended to smile: "My son Rusty… you know…"  
She put her iPhone on the desk, then approached him again.

Yes, it'd have been a very long case.

* * *

Thanks for your reviews. I really appreciate them so much. You're all so kind.


End file.
